this is actually bugging me more than i would have expected it to.

this is actually bugging me more than i would have expected it to. with my tough get the fuck over it songs and friends and attitude.
 but this time its like oh fuck really? ive been trying to find a way to skrew my head back on the right way all night long basically.


hes no one specific, but he kinda sorta is. Im just bummed at the fact how a person can get over and done with someone so quick and without hesitation. Make it harder on me to do the same cause the lil fucker had such an easy job doing it :| if that even makes any logical sense. i like strangers more than someone i already know due to the fact i have nothing to dislike them for cause i dont know them, maybe theres a way of making him into a stranger? yea ill have to work on that right.


so i passed my written test at the DMV and should be getting a car the end of April/ start of May.
ill be able to drive to San Fransisco and Pismo all the time, summer here i come ;)
i just need to practice a little bit more so i can take the drivin bit next month so by august i can drive to Marysville to Warped Tour<3


I just realized its Friday night and im home. really? thats depressing haha.
tomorrow im planning on going out with my sister somewhere but not sure where, maybe chill with tara or kristi.
Sunday hope to chill with Mary at her casa in the country. i absolutely love it there, we play nerdy Wii games and act like kids and not worry about a damn thing as if in high school again. awhh good times. 


Ohhhhh how about im planning on getting a tattoo on my birthday as well. Well a few, if im goin in im coming out well done!
first one is a peacock feather on going down my thigh and  meanings attached are royalty, vitality, sensuality, expansiveness, generosity, immortality, longevity, love sexuality, watchfulness, compassion and desire. yeee? :P

the other would be a dream catcher going down my back hanging from my neck. sounds oddd but ive it perfectly planned out. but yea i cant wait for my first ink.


well ive typed down eough to forget how much of a doucher cody and miranda are so i think ill go stuff my face with horrible vanilla icecream now. caio!

a typical day with things to do

oh dear. so this baby here doesn't like me much around nap time. you would figure after 4 years of my mother owning a daycare i would be used to the crying and screaming but nope! actualllyyyyyyy i think this song playing off my laptop just put the baby to sleep :) i've to help take care of the kids till mom gets back oh damn.

I'm off to the DMV in a few i hope, i absolutely hate failure i'm not going to lie, id rather avoid it then completely failing. kinda prevents me from succeeding now that i think about it. Even thinking about having to repeat something again due to the fact i did'nt do well enough the first time is one hell of an anchor.

thats something i noticed in a lot of people my age, they tend to not take chances in either fear of failing or not being able to accomplish something and end up too scared to try it again. no bueno! a person shouldn't have to fear their own personal flaws and "what ifs". the world if full of those horrible "what if"s and "but"s.

its hypocritical i say that and previously admit to hating failure but im going down to the DMV in a bit to retake the test. i say it because by saying it i know im thinking it and know someone else will too and i wont be the only one, hopefully?(:

 well its nearly been a year since my last DMV test and now I'm kinda being forced to go and take the test again haha. maybe ill fake food poisoning on the ride over? 

we all tend to have our vices and tend to have a with dealing or not dealing with things. 

at the moment im listening 

"Have faith in me

Cause there are things that I've seen I don't believe

So cling to what you know and never let go

You should know things aren't always what they seem"

a part of one of my all time favorite songs. by A Day to Remember, called Have Faith in Me.

faith is one hell of a trait to have. without it you'll end up nowhere. 

im contemplating on getting either a Jeep or an older Honda cause they honestly are great on gas and kickass on road trips :)

anyways im off before i keep writing whatever else my lovely ADD has to offer me. 

oh the babys staring at me :|

trust + fail

Well its most defiantly been a while since I've considered putting my thoughts into words. 

I just read something i sent to a guy i was really into last night when i was completely drunk off my ass.

"you work on trusting a person Cody you don't just automatically give them trust. you don't just have to expect to give it to them the first bit in any kind relationship. and it's funny you say that even tho I've been so open with you and shown you how much I appreciate my friends in general. its a two person thing as to where one can have something to respond to with feeling that could possibly develop into trust. oh and by 'like you' I meant not putting effort, and you giving up so fast and on to another kinda thing/person. 'if it's what you want' :/"

ok i might have corrected it a tad bit due to the horrible grammar, but i thought about it and i had a point.
i usually tend to avoid my own personal views onto anything and hope someone else views them the same so at least someone will.


i guess what im trying to say is trust is not a thing you can just give and just give alone, the person you're deciding to trust has to work for it and show you they're someone to actually put the effort into in order to trust and worry about trusting them and 'trust' cant be a deal breaker if someone decides not to give it to you. i wasn't annoyed with the guy for not trusting me cause to be honest i sure don't trust him, i hardly even trust myself. but to be able to say im not sure if i trusted you in the same sentence as i wasn't sure if we would work out. oh i need a drink.